Game 33? – Detroit @ Tampa Bay – Wish This One Was Postponed Too

So glad I got to write one entire fucking happy one of these before the team just tears my heart back out. I mean Jesus Christ, this game couldn’t have gone much worse could it?

I fucking hate Tampa Bay now. I was really bummed for awhile after I felt the Avs rivalry had finally died out due to player turnover and I kind of wished for another team to come along. And boy howdy did two playoff series show me that division rivals the Tampa Bay Lightning have plenty of shit starters to fill that void.

And I have to suffer through all of it knowing that Yzerman, the captain, MY CAPTAIN, is part of why they’re so much better than us AND that we could have had him and instead Illitch decided to keep Ken fucking Holland.

The Good

AT LEAST IT WASN’T A SHUTOUT.

Good shot by Jensen to create the bounce that Mantha could tuck in. Mantha didn’t even celebrate, and not to go all Patrick Roy here but GOOD. If I saw a celebration I would have actually full on hulk smashed my coffee table. This shit was garbage and you don’t get to celebrate tapping in a rebound with 10.5 motherfucking seconds left in the third period after Tampa Bay spent most of the third period not giving a shit because they had a 4 goal lead.

Jimmy Howard was good in the bit that he played. I didn’t think he had a chance on that deflection, and he made some huge stops there. In all realness, we could’ve had a much closer game with Howard still in the net.

Here’s something good that happened during the game: Jagr got three assists to tie Mark Messier for 2nd in all time points with 1,887.

Look when the Wings play like this I gotta pad the word count somehow. If they’re aren’t going to do good things then I gotta point out other players doing good things.

The Bad

Uh. Everything?

Losing that game last night (not like getting the loss but losing the ability to play it) I think was huge. Because this team was not the fucking team that played against Anaheim. We saw them take a HUGE step back today, and I think against a (no disrespect) softer Carolina team yesterday they could have built some more confidence up and maybe looked like they belonged here tonight. I don’t fucking know. I just have to imagine that the whole thing screwed with the players because I refuse to believe their goddamn brains fell out and they forgot how to play.

THE FUCKING POWERPLAY. The Red Wings are THREE. PERCENT. for the month of December. THAT CANNOT HAPPEN. I thought last year’s powerplay was bad, but come the fuck on. There is no excuse for a 3% powerplay. You are an NHL team. You cannot get beat on special teams like that. I mean, you can, but you’re going to fucking lose. And they have fucking lost. Thank god for that 6 game winning streak at the start of the season because HOLY SHIT. I can’t even describe how bad it looks to the eye test right now. My wife can tell they’re not playing good and she pretty much only follows the sport to the level of “put the puck in the net”.

And the big one.

Jimmy Howard gets trucked by a combination of Erik Condra and Nick Jensen. Both of those players are at fault here. Couple things with this.

  1. Man can you just fucking run goalies now in the league? Like, we got Eakin decking Lundqvist, Price went apeshit on that one dude because he kept getting hit, now Howard getting just skated into hardcore. Is the crease not a safe space for goalies? How many more goalie injuries/hits/ragequits are we going to see because the NHL doesn’t seem to give a shit.
  2. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST NO NOT HOWARD. If you think that this team is going to easily move forward with just Mrazek you are insane. Jimmy Howard is the only reason this team isn’t 0-16 levels of Lions bad right now. Not only was he hurt, but he was clearly writhing in pain and could not put any weight on that leg. We’ll be lucky if we see him again this season. Mark my words, it’s going to be a torn meniscus or an ACL or a fucking break or some shit.

HALLELUJAH, HOLY SHIT.

The WTF?

Thanks Iyer Prashanth for gifing this shit

Watch that shit. LOOK AT DEKEYSER. To quote the section header, WHAT THE FUCK? WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK? He takes his own stick out of the play. He literally plays that as ineffectively as possible. What, are you worried about a pass maybe hitting you? You think maybe you’ll get a bruise or something? I DON’T GIVE A SHIT. Either take away the pass, or take away the shot, I don’t give a fuck either of those things are better than sitting there with your stick tucked into your fucking skates.

You know, there was a time that I was excited for DDK, I remember when he was thought to be a future Top 2 defenseman here. But holy shit, if he hasn’t been terrible this season. Fuck I think Ericsson maybe has looked better. Human pylon Jonathan Ericsson. Salary cap black hole Jonathan Ericsson. I think he’s looked better. DDK has regressed and it’s either A) coaching, B) he can’t handle the pressure of being relied on more, or C) both.

Any way you put it, that play was fucked.

Next Game 

Friday against Florida. I don’t know when I’m going to watch it, but it’s not Friday. I don’t want this shit to ruin my Christmas.

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