Game 40 – Detroit @ Red Wings – *Jaws Theme*

It’s late, my head is killing me, I got to watch two Detroit teams fuck themselves tonight with a side of the refs fucking them too. It was not the best Saturday night I’ve ever had.

Still, at least the Red Wings had some bright spots. The Lions pissed away a playoff spot effortlessly. If I’m Stafford, I leave.

Back to hockey.

The Good

If I liked AA or Mantha any more they may need to file some sort of restraining order. Mantha scored and tied Larkin’s team lead for goals in the 3rd, and then AA came off the bench after I’m assuming Blashill cut his ice time again and scored. AA’s goal in particular was beautiful.

What a pass by Nielsen to set that up and AA did a nice victory flip.

We are not a bad team up front, I don’t think, on paper. We have a very nice top 8 I think. Zetterberg, Vanek, Nielsen, AA, Mantha, Larkin, Tatar, Nyquist. There’s nice room on there for another talented rookie, Svech or Bertuzzi or something. That’s a solid 3 lines. It’s the fact that the OMG line is so bad, and does so much harm to this team, that it is torpedoing us right now. That, and our defense. And our PP. And lineup decisions.

Alright there’s a lot of things wrong. But we have some talented pieces, and this game was just them further showing it. I find myself kind of hoping for some sort of rebuild/sell off at the deadline to take advantage of that high draft pick we are chugging towards and see what we can get in free agency.

Mrazek and Coreau looked okay. I don’t blame them for the goals.

The Bad

SWEET MOTHER OF DEFLECTIONS.

I counted at least 3 deflection goals. Another goal was a damn quadruple screen shot from the point. Look at this one, and the wasted goalie interference challenge.

What did that ping pong off the whole team?

Then Mueller lasered it in that Coreau could probably barely seen through the screen.

And my favorite of all, DDK deflecting it into our own net past Mrazek.

Why is that a good play? I get blocking shots but holding your stick out for a tip? Isn’t that the same shit you do in the offensive zone to try and get tip ins? Why would you do it in the defensive zone? Look I don’t play so I don’t know how good you can get at tipping towards v away from the net. What I do know is our goalies have a hard enough time when you don’t put any pressure on the fucking blue line and then when they finally can see the shot you flip it up over their damn shoulder.

Speaking of, how do we not have good pressure at the blue line against the San Jose Sharks? This team has Brent Burns. Dude’s 7 foot tall built like Sasquatch with a beard that looks like a half eaten gopher is hanging out of his mouth, he leads all defensemen in shots, it doesn’t occur to you in pregame to maybe sit down and say “Hey, this guy is good and their defense is good and they got a lot of shots from there maybe we should I don’t know FUCKING TAKE THE LANE AWAY?” Defense just let them dipsydoodle around at the blue line like a game of tiddly winks.

And finally, where the hell is our puck luck? What on earth is going on? Our PP is reaching record breaking levels of terrible on the road and in general, Sheahan has no goals in 40 games, where are our bounces? Sharks get like 3 deflections at least in one game and we can’t seem to muster one on like 30 fucking powerplays?! It’s gotta come down to one thing, our team is not playing smart hockey. If you play smart hockey, you get bounces eventually. We are playing the hockey equivalent of shooting ourselves in the foot every time we enter the offensive zone without a player named Mantha on our wing.

 

The WTF?

You gotta be fucking kidding me.

First of all, didn’t realize Hasek came out of retirement to play for Martin Jones while he took a bathroom break or ate a hot dog or whatever it is goalies do on the bench (that hot dog story is true, by the way, John Garrett played like a whole period with a hot dog plus mustard shoved in his pad). Second of all, how did Tatar not bury that in some way? Could’ve lifted it. Could’ve taken the shot off the forehand. Could’ve SCORED.

This team has no luck, and is probably cursed. Gordie is displeased that we are moving out of Joe Louis. Maybe he doesn’t like the new arena name. Maybe we broke ground on some sort of Indian burial thing and they decided to curse the team that places over them. I don’t know. I just write this crap.

Next Game

Tuesday versus the Blackhawks at 8:30, so at least I get to go to bed at a reasonable hour after our ass whooping. AA probably gets scratched. Steve Ott back on the PP. I probably see if I can match our scoreless powerplays in terms of beers pounded.

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