Please don’t actually do that, it’s probably really gross.
I was totally going to make this one be X Gon’ Give it To Ya and I had like a gag where I had the lyrics up above but then cut them off because that joke was stupid but then Tatar scored his first career hattrick and I had to come up with an even dumber title and beginning joke. Fuck it, let’s do this.
SIX GOALS. TATAR HATTRICK. WINGS WIN. HOLY SHIT.
Red Wings box score is like “YOU GET A POINT. YOU GET A POINT. EVERYBODY GETS A POINT. VANEK GETS TWO BECAUSE HE’S A SEXY DYNAMIC AUSTRIAN WHO POWERS THIS OFFENSE.”
The forecheck dominated this game, we were creating turnovers left and right, peppering Bernier like no bodies business. I’ve bitched about the effort this team seemed to be putting in and tonight they put on 400% effort and looked like they knew how to play fucking hockey.
Xavier Ouellet scored! Nielsen was probably our second best forward and got a tap in! Ott went full fucking Doug Glatt and was like “My team needs me to fight and so I’m going to.” And so he fought! Larkin tied the game and finally put a Wing to double digit goals! Kronwall Kronwall’d like 4 times! ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED DETROIT?
Tatar’s second goal was also a thing of beauty. I love, love, loved it. Off the boards, off Bernier’s skate into Bernier’s elbow into the net. That right there is some good old fashion Joe Louis Arena hockey and we aren’t going to get another season of bounces like that.
Fuck. Thank you Red Wings for reminding me how much fun I can have watching hockey.
Can’t find streamables for any of the goals so fuck me.
Still no goals on the powerplay. I mean, we scored 6 goals even strength so who gives a fuck, but the truly terrible PP numbers are getting staggering at this point. I worry now they will set a record for worst PP at the end of the season if they keep this up.
Petr Mrazek still looks shaky. Ever since I wrote that one GBWTF where I talked about his shitty glove hand I’ve been playing attention and I noticed several times that he punched the puck away like a goddamn soccer keeper. His rebounds came out at bad angles and seemed uncontrolled. I’m not going to harp on it to much because let’s be honest the Wings played pretty damn good this game and I don’t want to rain on that, but Mrazek still allowed 4 goals and had a .840 sv%. I hope this game was enough for him to get his confidence back on track.
Mike ‘Norris’ Green might have gotten injured at the end there. Dude’s been a stud all season, pray to Gordie we don’t loss him. This team can’t lose anymore players.
This is the first game I’ve watched where both coaches made challenges that I thought were clearly unneeded, and failed both. I don’t understand Blashill’s logic because from all the angles we saw it was inconclusive, and it’s not like they have different angles than we got to see. Then while I was like man I hope our wasted timeout doesn’t come back to bite us, Randy Carlyle decides to challenge a goal that was clearly not goaltender interference for goaltender interference. That challenge took way too long but it turned out that Toronto had their brains with them and didn’t take that away.
So yeah, WTF was the point where I had a bunch of my time wasted by 2 obviously pointless Coach’s Challenges. Thanks NHL.